Even though I was unhappy, my feelings were just background noise, a norm I accepted from childhood. I was a survivor who victimized herself without realizing I needed to confront my past and take responsibility for my choices. I know this can sound harsh, but I was looking at life the wrong way. It took decades to understand that my experiences had prepared me for better decisions in the present. I didn't connect my struggles to my dysfunctional upbringing and an abusive father until I found myself in an abusive relationship, amplifying the feelings I had carried since childhood.

I had yet to be in an abusive relationship and hit rock bottom to finally understand that

As the target kept moving in my relationship and the center of attention on my ex and how I could please him failed, there was just one thing I could change: my focus.

I started to see a change in the women I was coaching as a first-line responder when they were first getting out of abusive and violent relationships. It was clear, however, that to heal and grow, not to fall back to old patterns, we need to dig deeper. I especially saw it with women, but not exclusively, who grew up with abusive or absent parents or had already been in several abusive relationships. Even if you didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family I know that you have put up with way more shit from others than you should have, that you have issues with setting boundaries, and you are not happy. Otherwise, you would not be here. And all that is also rooted in your past. If you fear that you may end up in another abusive situation, there is work to do.

It became obvious to me that to create real and permanent change I needed to be raw, fearless and open to change - so I hired a coach for myself.

As a result of both my professional and personal experience, I have gained a unique perspective on the impact of abuse on individuals and communities. It is crucial to raise awareness about the prevalence of domestic and gender-based violence and to provide resources and coping strategies for those who have been affected. I am grateful for the opportunity to advocate for those who are still struggling.

It is our responsibility, survivors, to speak for those who have yet to find their voices and turn their power on.

By speaking out, we can help to create a safer and more compassionate world for all and foster a growing and caring community of survivors.

By breaking stigmas and silence, we can break the cycle of violence that has dictated our lives, allowing future generations to grow up in a nurturing environment so that they can make better choices and lead healthy relationships.